FOR MY UNCLE WALTER AND HIS FAMILY

Another Day Has Come,
Another Day Has Gone,
Another Day Has Passed,
Another Day Is Done.

Today I Was Busy,
Today I Was Rushed,
Today I was Flustered,
Today I was Pushed.

No Time For Hugs and Kisses,
No Time For Long Goodbyes,
No Time To Smell The Flowers,
No Time To Close My Eyes.

I Didn't Expect That Phone Call,
I Didn't Expect To Cry,
I Didn't Expect The Tears,
I Didn't Expect He'd Die.

Neither Did His Wife,
And Neither Did His Kids,
Neither Did His Friends,
And Neither Did His Kin.

He Did It Without Permission,
He Did It Without Blame,
He Did It Without Fault,
He Did It Without Shame.

Why Did He Have To Leave Us?
Why Did He Have To Pass?
Why Did It Happen So Early?
Why Couldn't His Life Just Last?

I Must Say Goodbye,
I Must Try To Be Strong,
I Must Say My Farewells,
I Must Help His Family Along.

Nothing I Can Hope or Do,
Nothing That I Can Say,
Nothing That I Scream Out Loud,
Nothing Can Take Back This Day.

I Will Pray For His Family,
I Will Pray That They Are Strong,
I Will Pray That They Stand Sturdy,
I Will Pray For A Happy Song.

Today I Will Keep Living,
Today I Will Continue To Dream,
Today I will Stop To Realize,
Life is Shorter Than It Seams.

Always Make Time For Kisses,
Always Make Time For Hugs,
Always Stop To Smell The Roses,
Always Hold The Ones You Love.

Life Is Way Too Short,
Life Is Way Too Cruel,
Life Is Not A Given,
Life Is Not Something You Rule.

Don't Take Your Friends For Granted,
Don't Treat Your Family Bad,
Don't Go to Bed Still Angry,
Don't Say Goodbye Still Mad.

Cherish Every Moment,
Cherish Every Kiss,
Cherish Every Wonder,
Cherish Every Gift.

We All Have A Purpose,
We All Have Love To Give,
We all Have A Place In This World,
We All Have One Life To Live.

Don't Waste It Being Petty,
Don't Waste It Being Cruel,
Don't Waste It On Whats Unimportant,
Don't Waste It Like A Fool.

Take The Time To Make That Phone Call,
Take The Time To Show You Care,
Take The Time To Talk To God,
He'll Listen And He Cares.

Try Not To Feel Anger,
Try Not To Lose Your Heart,
He's Watching Us From Heaven,
Till We Are No Longer Appart.

Today I Will Say Goodbye,
Today I Will Loose A Song,
Today I Lost My Uncle,
Today I Will Go On.

Tomorrow I Will Start Over,
Tomorrow I Will Try To Sing,
Tomorrow I Will Have Hope Again,
In What The World Will Bring.

Goodbye Uncle Walter

I am NOT a cool mom. Dang It!

It has recently come to my attention that I still am not cool. I was not cool in high school, or at any point of my childhood. And I am still not cool. The difference between now and then is that it doesn't bother me anymore.

How do I know I am not cool? Because the cool moms all hang out together in front of the school after dropping off their kids at the preschool class. The hang out and talk. They hang out and talk in their designer jeans, styled hair, colored eyes and lips and their crocks. In the pooring rain, they hang out holding lady bug unbrellas with flip flops on their feet as the rain drenches their feet. I see them shiver. I know they are cold and would rather be hopping in their SUV to head home. But they are obligated to join the gossip circle because they are cool moms.

I tried once, on a sunny day, to join the circle. But I am not good at small talk, especially when walking into the conversation that was well on its way before I joined. I didn't really know what they had been talking about. But I thought I would introduce myself anyway since I was new to the school. To my surprize, the circle said its good byes and disbursed shortly after I joined in. Not one of those cool moms said Hi, or acknowledged that I was there. Perhaps it was the fact that I was wearing my invisible cape that day. Maybe they did not see me. Or maybe, just maybe it was the sweat pants, and messy pony tail that scared them off. No, I was not wearing my $60 embroidered designer jeans that morning. Or any morning for that matter. Not when I am dropping my daughter off at preschool at 9:00 AM. And not when I have stayed up till 3:00 AM the night before working.

It is alright that I am not cool. Because I am happier that I can be myself and be comfortable. I don't need to answer to anyone but myself now. I am proud of my accomplishments and I am happy that I can drop my daughter off at preschool in the middle of winter with sensible shoes on and not worry about the other cool moms disaproving.

I am an uncool Mom.

Saying Goodbye to Gram
We had a very hard week. Last friday we received the call that my husbands Grandmother had passed away. She was only 77, and I was extreamly shocked by the news. We had no idea that anything was wrong. She seamed healthy to me and we assumed that she still had many years ahead of her.

I cried as soon as I heard the news. I just couldn't believe it. The thing that bothers me the most is that the last time the family got together, I sent the girls and my husband and opted to stay home and get some work done, since I was falling way behind. We usually get together in Jan and Feb for birthday parties, so I figured I would go the next time and make up for it.

A week before the Feb party, Gram was calling everyone to make sure we were all attending and knew the date and time of the event. She left a message for us to call her, not telling us why. The message sounded so urgent that I thought something was wrong. As soon as I received the message, I had my husband call and that was how we found out about the party. I was relieved that everyone was ok. But Gram wouldn't make it to the gathering that she was so determined to get everyone to. Did she know she was running out of time?

That friday night, the night before the party, I received a phone call from my husband's sister. She told me that Gram had passed, most likely on wednesday. My emotions took over and I have been crying off and on since. I was quite a wreck at the wake and the funeral. My husband has been down as well, but dealing in his own way. Sometimes I think he would feel better just to cry and get it out. I am glad I am not a man.

Gram was a stubborn woman, set in her ways. She didn't want to visit a doctor, even though she had a softball sized tumor on her chest. She felt it was better to live her life to the fullest each day, than to find out that her tumor may be cancerous, and deal with all that would come with that in her late years. By making this decision, she was happier. So we should be grateful for that. But I still feel hurt that we lost precious years with her.

I guess, you can never be ready to say goodbye to someone. At least not for the last time. Saying goodbye is hard enough when it is just for a short while, but when you know you are saying goodbye for the last time, you can never be prepared or ready for that.

For now, I will take the time I need to think of her and honor her each day in life and death. I will cry when I need to and I will smile and be grateful that I knew her for the last 10 years. But I will never forget her, and I hope that she is watching my family from above as we say our final goodbye to Gram.

Super Mom Tip #1
My intention by starting this blog was to share my thoughts and feelings about being a work at home mom. Along the way I have learned a few tips and tricks that have brought me one step closer to being a Super Mom. I would like to share one of these with you now. There is a good chance that you have heard some of these before, but hopefully coming from a new mom and not a trendy magazine, might make you take the suggestions a little more seriously.

The Magic of a schedule.

The hardest thing for me is getting everything done and keeping track of what needs to be done. I have found that if I put things down on paper, that I actually accomplish more and find more time in my day to do things.

I have been able to come up with several different types of schedules. Each with a unique purpose and each making my life a little easier. I have come up with a chore schedule. This lists all the daily, weekly, and monthly choses that I need to do as well as some space to write in one time things that need to be done. I break up the things I need to do so that I am not overwelmed on any one day. I have found that doing just one extra thing a day besides my regular daily stuff, and I can keep up with the housework and weekly chores that need to be done.

Then I came up with the same kind on schedule for my job work. I divide up everything so that I do a little every night instead of trying to get everything done at the end of the week. This tool has turned out to be an important part of my sanity. Without the schedule, I found myself spending my days doing little jobs and never getting the important stuff done untill I absolutely had to in order to meet a deadline. By that time I was stressed and did not have any desire to do it.

Third, I have scheduled out my time each and every day, except weekends. M-F, I have time scheduled for house work, my business work, play time with my children and on some rare occasions, even some down time.

The only other thing, for now at least, that I have all mapped out in advance is my food menu. I have breakfast, lunch and dinner scheduled and I do this once a week. This eliminates the question, "Whats for dinner?". When I know ahead of time what I need to prepare, I can thaw out any frozen items that I need to and have my shopping list partially prepared before my scheduled weekly grocery shopping trip on thursdays.

The most important thing about schedules, is that you have to make them realistic. Try coming up with your own schedules and test them out for a few weeks. Don't feel bad about breaking the schedule here and there during your trial period. This is how you fine tune it to make it work and realistic for your situation. You have to make it work for you because there is nothing more depressing than setting up your schedule day after day and never sticking with it. This will be a set up for failure, so fine tune it untill it is realistic and plan some unscheduled time each day for unexpected things that ma pop up. If nothing done, then enjoy the time and spend it doing something you enjoy.

I hope that helps some of you out there. It has changed my life.

Saying Goodbye to the Crib
I had an emotional day today. For Christmas, my parents bought Callie a toddler bed. I was quite happy about this since I was not planning on buying one. I had one for my older daughter but she did not use it long. I was planning on just using the twin mattress on the floor to start.

But, since they bought it I was glad to take it. When they first told me about it, Callie was not ready to come out of the crib, but over the last few days she has climbed out of the crib and started kicking the door until I came up and put her back in bed. It had become a game to her. So my husband and I decided it was time to move her to the bed.

So my parents came over and my mother watched the girls while my father and I set up the bed. I thought it was an adorable little bed and just the right size for my baby Callie.

Once it was all set up, the girls said goodbye to their Memere and Pepere, and I was left alone with the girls. We went back upstairs and I started rearranging the furniture in Callie's room. I cleaned up the changing table and took everything off that could be mistaken as a toy by a "finally free and unsupervised" toddler during nap time.

Then I started to take the crib apart so I could move it out of her room. And then it happened. I started to cry. That crib has been a constant in our family for the last four years. As soon as Lauren was out, Callie was in. Before it came to our family, it had been used by two children before, so it had some signs of use and none of the other furniture in the nursery matched it exactly. But it had become a comfort to see each night. It kept my babies safe and comfortable. And, it kept my children babies. As soon as they leave the safely of the crib, your baby becomes a toddler.

I know it is inevitable, that my children will grow up, but while they are still babies, I am so needed and feel so loved. I enjoy hearing them call out Mooommmyyyyy. Because there is so much love in that word. When they are older, they will still call to me, but it will be to ask for money or a ride to soccer practice. And while, I look forward to each new experience in each of their lives, I am having a hard time saying goodbye baby.

Work From Home Mom

Being a work from home mom is not the same thing as being a stay at home mom. I have had so many people who really don't understand what it is I do all day. I do not sit around watching game shows or soap operas all day and it really bothers me that people can be so insensitive.

This afternoon I ran into an acquaintance that I hadn't seen in a while and just because I was out in the middle of the day she immediately said, "So, you don't work huh. Did you find yourself a sugar daddy?"

I am not sure why that bothered me so much. I tried to explain that I was a Work At Home mom and to prove it I handed her one of my business cards. She thought it was ridiculous that I had business cards. She said, "Are you for real? You had cards made up?"

I guess that she just didn't understand that just because I work from home, that it didn't mean it was not a real job. I work full time hours and keep up with my kids all day long. I just wish I could get a little credit for it.

My free time is so rare, that I really take it personally that being a work from home mom is not given the respect that a working out of the home and paying for childcare mom would get. I guess you only work hard and deserve a break if you have to go out to work. Then it would be expected that you wouldn't feel like cooking a big dinner or dealing with two kids fighting over the red bowl and neither wanting the blue. Then you would have an excuse to be tired, you worked hard at the office all day. But if you work from the couch, you should still be rested and relaxed. Humph!